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Funny Whatsapp Status

Funny Whatsapp Status
Can’t talk, telepathy only!
Read books instead of reading my status!
SI unit of ignorance = “seen”
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.
WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper.
Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation.
A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!
In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.
When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!
I hate men but I’m not lesbian.
Don’t get a man(\woman) ,get a dog …they are loyal and they die sooner.
Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.
Everybody is so happy….I hate that.
I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day 

Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???
source:valentinedaywishes.in
Who care’s ?????………..I’m awsome
I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.
Funny Whatsapp Status
Hey,you are reading my status again??
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..
Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
Life is Short – Chat Fast!
If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
How can i miss something i never had?
Hey there whatsapp is using me.
source:valentinedaywishes.in
Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..
If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!
When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…
Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped 
Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver :3
Friction is a drag.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
source:valentinedaywishes.in
Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it
A man is as young as the woman he feels.
With all this technology above and under, humanity still hunts down one another.
If Relationship between man and women were shoes, I’d wear you out. But I wouldn’t wear you out in public.
“There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.” Josh Groban quotes
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 15 WTF’s every hours
source:valentinedaywishes.in
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